The Worst Picture Perfect

The worst airplane travel day and worst hotel stay happened to me on our trip over the past two weeks to Calgary.  That is saying something for someone who has been to all 50 states and who used to travel 35 weeks a year for a decade. If you read last week’s Jeff’s Journal, you would understand what I’m talking about.  First, we lost luggage and were up 24 hours flying from PBI to Calgary on the Microsoft outage fiasco, which made it the worst travel day ever. Then fleeing from a wildfire, up 24 hours again in Jasper and having our passports burnt to a crisp in the hotel room completed the worst hotel day ever.

This year has also been the worst season for my baseball team, the Chicago White Sox. What I’ve been writing to you about throughout the season is now a national “worst” story.  When I left for Calgary, the Sox were on a losing streak.  When I came back on August 2^nd, they lost 10-2. They didn’t win on my 15-day summer vacation and the streak is now 18 games (23 games is the record set by the Phillies in 1961). Picture perfect for anyone playing the White Sox! This bested the longest ever Sox team record in their 124-year history which was 14 games that was set earlier this season.  In fact it might be the worst year for any baseball team. At 27 wins and 85 losses, the Sox have the worst winning percentage in both the 21^st Century and 20^th Centuries of any team ever. We are now in serious contention to beat the 1962 expansion team the NY Mets for the title of worst record ever in the last two centuries!

Every industry has its worsts and since I’m on a worst roll, here are my all-time real estate worsts…

The worst crooked clients I ever had were this father and son team.  They first painted over the wallpaper which you could see through. Then they were both arrested for turning back the odometers on cars.  I’m watching the nightly news and there are my clients. The morale of that story was….don’t turn the odometer back on a car that you sell to a cop. They were nice crooks though as far as crooks go.

The worst Realtor ever was this lady from Michigan who claimed to own the Keller Williams company (she didn’t). This cray cray ruined my first vacation in a decade. I was at Disney for the weekend with my family when I was dragged out of dinner at 6:30 pm as she barged into the listing.  She called at 6:25 pm, and knocked on the front door of the home (in a gated community) and demanded  to see the house. The sellers were very old and confused and then demanded we be there. I had just hired a new assistant and she drove out to the home. I left the dinner with my family and was on and off the phone until 10 pm that night as the Realtor (along with the other young Realtor she was dating!) just wouldn’t leave. Their client was not even there. They talked to my clients who were desperate and gullible about taking a super low price. Every time I hear her name I cringe to this day.

The worst real estate sale that didn’t occur was a short sell. This was when the market crashed in 2007.  The Seller at some point told me to short sell it.  It was the first one I ever did. After the first offer was accepted, I sent a fax to the bank.  They didn’t receive it confirmed by two hours on hold and constant dropped calls. Two hours on hold and the umpteenth call went by when the lady on the other end of the phone answered and confirmed that she had received the paperwork but couldn’t accept it.  I asked why not?  She said because I didn’t write “Offer Received” on the paperwork. I had to resend and write “Offer Received” and then wait on hold.  This rigmarole went on and on for months. Then the buyer cancelled out of frustration. We went through two more offers with more nonsensical nuttiness. Finally, I got one offer through. But then my Seller just decided to cancel and wait everything out until he was kicked out.

The worst miserable client was one of my first. The couple were gloomy and if I was established, I never would have taken it. She was depressed and ordered all these magazines that she would store in her pantry. There were thousands of them that she would order over the phone or send away for in the mail. Maybe 40 came in each week.  I got this unhappy couple a ridiculously good price and it was still never enough.  Just one of couples who was never ever satisfied, and it was painful to be around such doom, gloom, misery, and unappreciation. Even after the sale, poor Mr. Sawyer, the new buyer, received countless magazines for years and years.

The worst lawyer I ever delt with was this guy who wanted to get into a lawsuit with PGA National.  There is a standard form for the PGA POA that must be signed off on along with a $25 filing fee. The offer from the buyer’s agent didn’t have the form signed off on. I called the buyers Realtor to ask if it was an oversight.  She called me back and said that they didn’t want to sign off and she gave me the name of her attorney.  I called the attorney who was on the other coast and he answered the phone himself.  I asked why they wouldn’t submit the form?  He told me not to worry about it and they would sue the PGA POA if necessary. I said, unless your agents want to purchase a plot of land in the Acreage, they were going to have to sign off on some subdivision form no matter where they bought and my Sellers were worried about it. They finally signed off on it.

The worst broker and owner of a brokerage I delt with was this guy with a real estate company that had the master contract as the in-house brokerage for a community I started to do a lot of business in. I picked up so much business that the company put out a “hit” on me, in writing. If any agent did multiple deals with me, they would fine the agent $1,000 and not pay a commission to that agent. My past brokerage I was with owned a mortgage company that was in the community and wouldn’t back me up. Fortunately, my clients who were aware of the situation stuck with me. I normally came into the office at 5:30 am -6:00 am. That changed to 4:30 am to 5:00 am as I was beyond determined not to let them break me. The year before I had 46 transactions and only one where I had both sides. That year I had twenty sides of the transactions. The clients of the buyers didn’t appreciate being steered and all went direct when their clients would not show them all their properties. I did a massive amount of marketing and advertising coupled with hard work to get through it and broke the “hit” piece. That brokerage is now defunct!

The worst Realtor I dealt with had no idea how to work on the computer, would do anything for a sale, and was a kleptomaniac. An example would be her opening the fridge without permission and taking out a drink or grabbing a book from the study.  I told her to put things back and then would never let her show her property by herself. It was a very strange sickness.

The worst divorce was this guy who was living in the house and claimed he was a 99 weeker (out of work during the great recession) and couldn’t find a job. Truth was he was freeloading. Once my assistant showed the home to a buyer and her Realtor.  This woman popped out of upstairs bedroom and said to get the F&$? out! When I phoned the owner and asked what that was, he told me, “Oh, she was just, a Lady of the evening!”

Tied with the first divorce was a lady who bought a large waterfront estate 20 years back and had a young boy toy for a decade. We signed the listing agreement with her and didn’t even know the boy toy existed at the time. Turned out the lothario refused to leave the house claiming homestead. The sale got delayed six months until they worked out a cash settlement for him to leave.

The worst smell was in this home with 5,000 square feet of furniture in a 2083 square foot home. Total packrats and I would get to the house early and open and close and open and close the door. For 15-20 minutes the odor was dissipated. But then, it would come back and still smelled.

The worst buyer was a networking friend of mine’s wife who, when I pointed out a home that I was talking to about listing, went behind my back and bought it without me. I bit my lip and did not say anything. Then the same person bought me a $50 gift card to a restaurant as she felt guilty for cutting me out.  I bit the lip again. Then she wanted me to drive her around an area as she was interested in investment property although if she bought in this area, she told me that she would use her girlfriend who had a license. At that point I stopped networking with the so-called friend and got all Ralph Kramden on them.  A man has his limitations.

The good news is that most of my clients were and still are the Best. My grandfather had a saying in business, “You can’t do a good deal with a bad guy”. I’ve always avoided taking on negative energy clients and Realtors at ECHO. Negative energy spreads and negative energy people hang around negative energy friends. Plus, demanding situations arise no matter the make up of your clients and you need to use your efforts to solve those tough scenarios for people you truly love working with. We always go through the wall for good reasonable clients. The Fine in our name says it all. ECHO. Fine Properties. Fine People.

As for my trip, we made it to Lake Louise, and I got to see the GUL (Great Uncle Larry) in Whitefish, Montana. In Jasper I had hoped to see the stars out at night since it was a dark sky community.  The last night in Whitefish, there was a picture-perfect sky with not a cloud as far as the eye could see. I woke up at 2 a.m. and went to the second story patio of the home we rented and just watched the stars, satellites, and meteor shower. It was a picture perfect sky and an inspiration to change the title of the Jeff’s Journal I was working on from “Worst” to “Picture Perfect”. I finished up the story, Friday evening on the flight back from Calgary to the States. We even made it home perfectly until I realized I left my computer on the plane, and it flew back from Atlanta to Calgary. A picture-perfect ending to my story!

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Jeff Lichtenstein, originally from Chicago, got his start in the home furnishings textile business where he traveled over 35 weeks a year selling fabrics. After the family business was sold, Jeff moved to Florida and became a real estate agent. Today he is the owner and broker of Echo Fine Properties, a luxury residential brokerage voted best brokerage of the year. Jeff manages a non-traditional model of real estate that mimics a traditional business model. Echo has 80 agents, an average of one million dollars per transaction and over 500 million in annual sales. Between traveling for work and annual family trips to national parks with his wife and 2 now adult children, Jeff has visited 49 states. He is also one of the few Chicago White Sox fans you’ll ever meet.  Some publications he has been quoted in.

Author of business & leadership book How Making a Sandwich Can Change Your World –  The Amazing Success of the PB&J Strategy – Available to Buy Now!

Feel free to ask him a question directly at jeff@EchoFineProperties.com including a complementary  valuation of your home.